weedguru_animal wrote:I am interested in how others view their own mortality. As much as I am interested in how I view mine...
I wouldn't say that I enjoy my lifestyle...which revolves around more than borderline alcholism, with sporadic breaks from the finnish firewater, which always equate to...constant stonage. Am I living for the now? Totally unaffected by the knowledge that such a long term lifestyle wioll either kill me, or cause me fiercely horrible damage once i approach my mid-life???? Is this a stance of defiance??? A stance of ignorance??? Connected to my complete animosity towards planning my Now, for a long term future????
The nearest and dearest creature to me, is oswald...my ratdog wolverine hound. The only nightmarfes I ever have, which are irritatingly regular, involve him putting himself in jeapoardy...His mortality appears more of a concern to me than mine...so what does that suggest????
Its not just my sense of my own mortality which encourages me to live fanatically in the Now...its also ,y perception of the world. Not just where it may be headed, but where its at NOW...
Pondering oswald's death whether in the near future or long term future, makes me cry. Its simply too much to deal with...I am well aware of several lines of existential pondering which suggest we are all part of one major, combined energy field...some of those include the individulaity of soul, and just as many suggest that all idea of spirit and soul are down to the ego.
I enjoy my character, however fucked up it is, and as anyone close to me will confirm...IT IS...in regards to the Norm. Which is a definitely negative conclusion and appraisal, as only something messy and abrasive to the Norm, which surely, seeks longevity, through the channels suggested as The Path To LOngevity, by our peers...only something fucked up, takes a different path.
DEATH of the body is a strange subject to broach and hope for debate upon. Its something not many people I know, feel anywhere near to comfortable talking about...and that includes those who simply say 'when your time comes, it comes'...You see how I write DEATH as 'DEATH OF THE BODY'...accompanied by the unwritten but obvious intimation, that other facets which make ME, ME, coild live on in some way or form???
The certainty of physical death, becomes clearer as you get older, and people close to you, connected to you in any way, begin to die...One day they are there, the next they are GONE. The effect this has on me, when such incidents happen, is to encourage me to push more of my self onto the world, to take more risks, to chase my dreams with added zest...which begs the most obvious questuion of 'why does it take someone to die, who is connected to me, to make me chase my dreams savagely and be my SELF more, to the Many?'....what the fuck is going on nornally then??? Some delapidated belief that i will live forever?
I have much much more to write on this subject, but as this rant is becoming lengthy, i will post it as it is, and hope for some replies that give me reason and eagerness to respond...
I guess, as my post is typically convoluted, I should make it country simple and ask HOW DO YOU VIEW AND FEEL DEATH? AND HOW DOES SUCH VIEWS, SUCH A STANCE, AFFECT YOU IN THE NOW?
Deeply intelligent bruh. Man your writing so reminds me of 'Huey Freeman' from the Boondocks episodes. He was intelligent and a badass.