- s†☼nër bi†ch
- Posts: 6299
- Joined: Sun Jun 11, 2006 11:43 am
- Location: welcome to the midwest
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" exclaims Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
"Watson, you idiot!" he exclaims, "Somebody's stolen our tent!"
A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you
- Sir Toke-a-lot
- Posts: 2687
- Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 2:12 am
- The Duke of Dope
- Posts: 1560
- Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 2:41 am
- Location: the woods of Wisconsin
ok that made me laugh...Ikku wrote:So the other day I was about to get on an escalator and I saw a sign that said "Dogs must be carried." It took me like an hour to find one.
and andria the sherlock holmes one was pretty good.
- Casual toker
- Posts: 6
- Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2018 9:37 pm
After the sixth one a man on the bench across from him said, “Son, you know eating all that candy isn’t good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, make you fat.”
Little Johnny replied, “My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.”
The man asked, “Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?”
Little Johnny answered, “No, he minded his own business!”
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