Consoling An Old Friend

[blacky0g]

My friend has gone through a death close to her but I'm not sure if she's comfortable talking about it, I'm usually good at helping people,lately i haven't been knowing how to help show her since she doesn't want to talk, I understand that maybe she wants to grieve alone, I just care about her and want to show her that and help her through this but I'm unsure how to best do that. Any advice or wisdom is appreciated

[leprechaun]

Usually my role in these kind of situations is to talk about everything else. Unless they mention to you, I try to just carry on as normal. I know that kinda sounds a bit horrible, but i like to think that it takes their mind off it for a little while, instead of talking or thinking about it, then her mind for a little while will be talking, thinking about something different, say, how your day in work was...... (i'm sure there's something better, but i can't think of one right now).

As i say however, this is only what i tend to do... but i wont always do it. Everything really does depend on context, and context can change from person to person and time to time. I know that last bit doesn't help at all, but it's just to emphasize how difficult it is to get these things right. So if anything, approach with caution.

Lastly, sorry to hear your news. I hope all turns out ok.

[blacky0g]

I understand what you mean. I'm gunna avoid the subject til she wants to talk about it. Thank you for the advice it helped a lot

[AbbyRoad]

i would have said pretty much exactly the same as leprechaun.

sometimes just knowing the world is still going on, and that caring people are close helps.

[omnific.dc]

I always talk about killing myself but when it comes to it I chicken out.

[blacky0g]

I went to the beach with her and her family on the 4th of July and she told me it had been her older sister's baby daddy that had passed away, he drown while drunk at the beach.

[omnific.dc]

What an utter waste. RIP.

[AbbyRoad]

one of my friends in high school drowned at the beach...

im sorry to hear for your friends loss

[weedguru_animal]

My beloved sinhalese brother from work is more increasingly daily talking of his dear mother, shrinking, the life literally ebbing from her bones and eyes, leaving him feeling impotent and morbid...She is in her 90s, but what the fuck difference does that make to a son to a mother??? Death becomes us all, the likely total end of such a thing drives a few, instills terror in many, and is avoided by the many...What I told the aforementioned Jay today, was something along the lines of...:
WE ARE DEAD MEN WALKING. ITS THOSE WHO REALIZE AND APPRECIATE LIFE WHICH I GRAVITATE TOWARDS AND STRIVE TO MAKE ONE OF MY TRIBE, AS YOU DO MY DARK SKINNED BROTHER...I UNDERSTAND, AND FEEL YOUR GROWING GRIEF, BUT I ALSO FEEL YOUR LOVE FOR YOUR DAUGHTER, FOR YOUR WIFE, FOR ME...SO FUCK THIS TALK OF 'MY FAMILY ARE BETTER OF FINANCIALLY IF I AM DEAD' FOR THE $$$$$ THEY COULD GET FROM YOUR UNTIMELY DEMISE MEANS NOTHING WHEN SET AGAINST THE LOVE YOU CAN GIVE THEM WHEN ALIVE...SO BE DONE WITH THIS BULLSHIT, I GIVE YOU MY WORD, WHEN YOU ARE OLD AND SHRINKING AWAY, I WILL SHOOT YOU, BUT FUCK THAT DR DEATH, YOU HAVE DECADES LEFT TO BE AS YOU, WHICH IS WONDERFUL, RIGHTEOUS AND LOVING...LONG MAY IT CONTINUE.

[omnific.dc]

Too much.. >.<

[leprechaun]

Too much.. >.<

I always talk about killing myself but when it comes to it I chicken out.

Considering this was a thread where he was asking for advice........ Oh the irony......

Woe, oh woe, oh woe is me.

[AbbyRoad]

im confused

[omnific.dc]

Now.
Here here animal.