Is it too early?

Got a problem? - Get counseling from the gurus

Moderator: Moderators

Pirate Hippie
Casual toker
Casual toker
Posts: 19
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2005 7:18 am
Location: Rochester, NY
Contact:

Is it too early?

Post by Pirate Hippie »

Here's my story.

I dated a guy for two years, we'll call him "Jack". Anyways, "Jack" always had this thing for trying to get me into bed with him. "Jack's" philosophy on sexual relationships was that if he didn't loose his virginity before he turned 18, his friends would disown him, his family would shun him, and his town would throw him out and eventually stone him to death. Now, I am a strong believer in abstaining until marriage. Eventually, "Jack" tricked me into it. After that, our relationship went downhill. About 4 weeks ago, we broke up. About 2 months before that, I met another guy, thought he was cool, and didn't talk to him again until about a week before "Jack" and I broke up. I started having strong feelings for this other guy, and we started seeing eachother more and more. One night, he and some of our friends came over to my house, to chill and smoke t3h reefer. As they were leaving, the guy and I stayed in my kitchen, while the other two (which are dating also, one is my best friend) went out into the other room to get their jackets and shoes. He ended up kissing me, and I just fell so awfully in love with him at that very moment. That night, he helped me through breaking it off with "Jack".

Things with this new guy are absolutly great. Nobody has ever made me feel the way he does. He actually showed up at my house today with a rose, which nobody has EVER done. He always calls me beautiful and such. "Jack" never did. To him, I was "hot" which was so annoying to hear. Plus, he had this obsession with spending the rest of his life with me, and I wasn't even thinking about next week. Now, mind you, this is when everything went downhill. I loved him like he loved me for the first year and 11 months we were together. On quite a few occations, even after I asked him if we could stop having sex, he would play his little games and tricks to get me to do it.

Do you guys think it's too early for me to be with a new person?

Also, if I may add, since this is a reefer site, "Jack" and I quite often smoked up, and thats how he tricked me the first time. We got really stoned.
>^. .^< Kate >^. .^<
jonny cockeral
Ganja God
Ganja God
Posts: 6131
Joined: Sat Oct 19, 2002 9:51 pm
Location: Newcastle, England
Contact:

Post by jonny cockeral »

getting on 2 years is a long time, i would still say "no" though. from what you say he didnt care too much about you wanting to wait to much until marriage so he might not care too much about you being with somone else so soon, at least thats how i think he will be thinking :? i think he needs to rethink his philosophy aswell, i cant think of anyone i know being disowned by there friends for not loosing there virginity
Cameron.
Weedguru Higher
Tetrahydrocannabinologist
Tetrahydrocannabinologist
Posts: 14620
Joined: Sun Mar 30, 2003 1:31 pm
Location: Canada
Contact:

Post by Weedguru Higher »

It depends.

I think that if you still harbor feeling for your ex, then a new realtionship would be too soon. Be it positive or negative feelings, it doesn't really matter..any sorts of feelings will get in the way of a new relationship. You must be totally over one bf before engaging in a relation with another.
Image
Funk Doc
Bonghead
Bonghead
Posts: 328
Joined: Sat Nov 26, 2005 2:44 am
Location: Your subconsciousness
Contact:

Post by Funk Doc »

This Jack character sounds like a complete dick to me, one of those guys who puts on a nice guy facade to get what he wants. And this new guy sounds just about right.
User avatar
Dr. Greenthumb
Stoned Immaculate
Stoned Immaculate
Posts: 8112
Joined: Sun Aug 03, 2003 8:17 pm
Contact:

Post by Dr. Greenthumb »

i say enjoy your time with the nice guy especially if you hit it off that good. Screw Jack
“Cannibalism? Racism? Dude, that’s not for us ... those decisions are better left to the suits in Washington. We’re just here to eat some dude!”
-Charlie Kelly
WeedGuru_Flow
Red Eye Jedi
Posts: 8722
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 5:41 pm
Location: Belgium
Contact:

Post by WeedGuru_Flow »

DrGrEEnThUMb wrote:i say enjoy your time with the nice guy especially if you hit it off that good. Screw Jack

SCREW HIM GOOOD :evil:

I hate ppl like that, fuck jack. he's not worth sulking over. The new dude seems like my kinda guy (well,not in the gay way) , straightforward and truely loving you, stick around him
Pirate Hippie
Casual toker
Casual toker
Posts: 19
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2005 7:18 am
Location: Rochester, NY
Contact:

Post by Pirate Hippie »

Good advice guys, thanks a lot. I appreciate it. :D
>^. .^< Kate >^. .^<
Weedguru_Fire_Inside
Sir Toke-a-lot
Sir Toke-a-lot
Posts: 3688
Joined: Sun Apr 11, 2004 1:03 pm
Location: England
Contact:

Post by Weedguru_Fire_Inside »

The best way to get over one guy is to get under another.
Jizmo
Casual toker
Casual toker
Posts: 37
Joined: Tue Nov 22, 2005 3:47 am

Post by Jizmo »

I persoanlly don't believe in marriage before sex, but it doesn't matter. IT doesn't matter how long it's been, this new guy makes you feel great, you love him, be with him. He obviously likes you, you like him, so go for it. Forget about Jack, because I think we was cheating on you, and only working yo, jsut for sex. If you ever trick your gf, you deserve to be punched.
Midnight Toker
Sir Toke-a-lot
Sir Toke-a-lot
Posts: 3463
Joined: Mon Jul 21, 2003 9:55 pm
Location: England

Post by Midnight Toker »

You're working under the mis-apprehension that sex is a big deal. We no longer live in the 40s where sex was a forbidden fruit only enjoyable within the sancitity of marriage. People are slowly coming round to the fact that sex is a highly pleasurable experience in itself, and can be enjoyed anytime by anybody.

Sex is the single greatest feeling in life, and i don't believe that it needs to be such a big deal. It's a natural means of entertainment as far as i know. It is true that sex within a loving relationship is so much better, as you when you connect on both an physical and emotional level in one fantastic climax then it's far more intense then a quickie with someone you just met, but sex is great no matter what. I'm not saying you should go putting it about left right and centre to anyone who fancies it, there should be some limits so that it remains special, but you shouldn't feel guilty about enjoying it.

I think what is more important is the person you choose, not the time or the act itself. Guy number one sounds like an asshole, but guy number two sounds pretty genuine (based on the paragraph i have read about him :lol: ) so i think you should go for it.

And how did guy number one 'trick' you into bed? Maybe i could use a couple of his tricks.... :lol:
[img]http://img155.exs.cx/img155/7595/tillijk2ss.png[/img]

''I spent alot of money on booze, birds
and fast cars. The rest i just squandered.'' - George Best
Pirate Hippie
Casual toker
Casual toker
Posts: 19
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2005 7:18 am
Location: Rochester, NY
Contact:

Post by Pirate Hippie »

Midnight this is all a lie wrote: And how did guy number one 'trick' you into bed? Maybe i could use a couple of his tricks.... :lol:
He got me really REALLY stoned, and kinda convinced me to, because I was just kinda "What-ev, do what you waaaaaaaaaaaaaaant"
After that, he used that as an excuse "But we already did it, another time wont hurt"

Then, he tricked me into doing it without a condom by saying "I just want to know how it feels. You can tell me when you want me to stop." And I did, but he was like "Just one more minute"

We've had two pregnancy scares, and I totally don't want that.
>^. .^< Kate >^. .^<
Pirate Hippie
Casual toker
Casual toker
Posts: 19
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2005 7:18 am
Location: Rochester, NY
Contact:

Post by Pirate Hippie »

Midnight this is all a lie wrote: And how did guy number one 'trick' you into bed? Maybe i could use a couple of his tricks.... :lol:
He got me really REALLY stoned, and kinda convinced me to, because I was just kinda "What-ev, do what you waaaaaaaaaaaaaaant"
After that, he used that as an excuse "But we already did it, another time wont hurt"

Then, he tricked me into doing it without a condom by saying "I just want to know how it feels. You can tell me when you want me to stop." And I did, but he was like "Just one more minute"

We've had two pregnancy scares, and I totally don't want that.
>^. .^< Kate >^. .^<
User avatar
Dulleffects
Herbal Assassin
Herbal Assassin
Posts: 515
Joined: Wed Apr 06, 2005 11:00 pm
Contact:

Post by Dulleffects »

Pirate Hippie wrote:
Midnight this is all a lie wrote: And how did guy number one 'trick' you into bed? Maybe i could use a couple of his tricks.... :lol:
He got me really REALLY stoned, and kinda convinced me to, because I was just kinda "What-ev, do what you waaaaaaaaaaaaaaant"
After that, he used that as an excuse "But we already did it, another time wont hurt"

Then, he tricked me into doing it without a condom by saying "I just want to know how it feels. You can tell me when you want me to stop." And I did, but he was like "Just one more minute"

We've had two pregnancy scares, and I totally don't want that.

Wow, Sounds like a dick. Move on. I'd be more helpful but my brain hurts.
Accccccciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiidddddddddddddddddd
GAZ
Sir Toke-a-lot
Sir Toke-a-lot
Posts: 2284
Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2004 12:07 am
Location: Milton Keynes, England
Contact:

Post by GAZ »

Pirate Hippie wrote:
Midnight this is all a lie wrote: And how did guy number one 'trick' you into bed? Maybe i could use a couple of his tricks.... :lol:
He got me really REALLY stoned, and kinda convinced me to, because I was just kinda "What-ev, do what you waaaaaaaaaaaaaaant"
After that, he used that as an excuse "But we already did it, another time wont hurt"

Then, he tricked me into doing it without a condom by saying "I just want to know how it feels. You can tell me when you want me to stop." And I did, but he was like "Just one more minute"

We've had two pregnancy scares, and I totally don't want that.
Im sure thats classed as rape.
If You Want To Get Ahead, Get A Gaz.

[img]http://jupiter.walagata.com/w/gaj/fingathing.jpg[/img]
Pirate Hippie
Casual toker
Casual toker
Posts: 19
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2005 7:18 am
Location: Rochester, NY
Contact:

Post by Pirate Hippie »

Pirate Hippie wrote: He got me really REALLY stoned, and kinda convinced me to, because I was just kinda "What-ev, do what you waaaaaaaaaaaaaaant"
After that, he used that as an excuse "But we already did it, another time wont hurt"

Then, he tricked me into doing it without a condom by saying "I just want to know how it feels. You can tell me when you want me to stop." And I did, but he was like "Just one more minute"

We've had two pregnancy scares, and I totally don't want that.

Im sure thats classed as rape.[/quote]

Well since we were stoned, I don't want to do anything about it because both of us were already commiting illegal acts.
>^. .^< Kate >^. .^<
Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users