STONER JOKES

nos16987 · Post by **nos16987** » Tue Sep 05, 2006 3:09 am

There were 3 men and they all died in a car crash and went to hell. When they got there the devil asked them all in turn a question.
To he first he said "what was your biggest sin on earth?" and the man replied "Oh man I just love alchol and being drunk man" so the devil showed the man to a room full of alchol of every type and description and he put the man inside and said "see you in 100 years" and locked the door.
To the second man he asked the same question and the man replied "oh man I just love to have sex with the ladies, I was really unfaithful to my wife man". So the devil took the man and showed him to a room full of hundreds upon thousands of georgeous and beautiful naked women. The man ran inside and the devil said "see you in 100 years" and locked the door.
The third man's answer to the question was "oh man I just LOVE weed! Im high all the time man and I can't live without it!". The devil showed the man to a room packed with the most amazing grade-A bud you've ever seen, stacked to the roof! The man went inside and the devil locked the door after saying "see you in 100 years".
100 years later the devil came by to let the three men out. He opened the door to the first man's room and found the man collapsed on the ground, passed out with empty bottles laying around him and puke all over him. He was a mess.
The devil opened the 2nd man's door and the man came running out of the room and cried "IM GAY! IM GAY!". Finally the devil came to the third man's room and opened the door. Sitting in the middle of all the bud, in the exact same position the devil had left him in was the man. He looked up at the devil and with a single tear rolling down his cheek he asked ; "hey man, got a light?"

thnkgod4weed · Post by **thnkgod4weed** » Tue Sep 05, 2006 3:18 am

haha good one,actually pictured it.

mctoosh · Post by **mctoosh** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 1:28 pm

that would extremely suck. I had such crappy lightless experiences

FIRE!!! · Post by **FIRE!!!** » Sat Sep 16, 2006 3:25 pm

Actually I think I read this one on this site,

What's the difference between a drunk driver and a stoned driver?
A drunk driver will run over a stop sign, a stoned driver will wait for it to turn green.

asswipe · Post by **asswipe** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 4:05 pm

haaaaaaaaaa.. that rocks

WVgurl595 · Post by **WVgurl595** » Wed Nov 29, 2006 4:41 pm

Actually I think I read this one on this site,

What's the difference between a drunk driver and a stoned driver?
A drunk driver will run over a stop sign, a stoned driver will wait for it to turn green.

haahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha funny and true!!!!and the first one was hilarious to

WVgurl595 · Post by **WVgurl595** » Wed Nov 29, 2006 4:42 pm

Actually I think I read this one on this site,

What's the difference between a drunk driver and a stoned driver?
A drunk driver will run over a stop sign, a stoned driver will wait for it to turn green.

haahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha funny and true!!!!and the first one was wrong man that would suck so bad

Iggy115 · Post by **Iggy115** » Tue Dec 12, 2006 7:56 am

haha we need more of these stoner jokes

Weedguru~N0isenkiss3s · Tue Dec 12, 2006 8:58 am

A stoner walks into an appliance store and asks the owner, "How much for that TV set in the window?"
The owner looks at the TV set, then looks at the stoner, and says, "I don't sell stuff to potheads." So the stoner tells the owner that he'll quit toking and will come back the next week to buy the TV. A week later, the stoner comes back and says, "I quit smoking pot. Now, how much for that TV set in the window?"
And the owner says, "I told you I don't sell to potheads!" So the stoner leaves again.
He comes back a week later and says, "How much for that TV?"
The owner says, "I'm not going to tell you again, I don't sell to potheads!!!"
The stoner looks back at the owner and says, "How can you tell I'm a pothead?"
The owner looks back and says, "Because that's a microwave."

hubcap · Post by **hubcap** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 5:58 pm

How many stoners does it take to change a light bulb? - Two: One to hold the bulb against the socket, and the other to smoke up until the room starts spinning.

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And the funniest bad one i'v heard: Whys weed the most dangerous drug? Because you always trip on it

Certified-Nutter · Post by **Certified-Nutter** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 6:37 pm

man, that hell doesnt sound that bad...
and if i hadda been in a room full-o-weed with no light, i wud ate the fucking shit
(anyone else ate bud raw or am i the only one?)
its not the greatest taste eating plant, n gives u Terrible gack mouth, but still, it'll hit u non-the-less, lol

hashpipe · Post by **hashpipe** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 2:46 pm

hubcap wrote:How many stoners does it take to change a light bulb? - Two: One to hold the bulb against the socket, and the other to smoke up until the room starts spinning.

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And the funniest bad one i'v heard: Whys weed the most dangerous drug? Because you always trip on it

ahaha that one had me on the floor

Weedguru~N0isenkiss3s · Mon Dec 18, 2006 7:53 pm

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=21064

Hahahahaha

What's that behind your ear? A quarter? oh wait...

WVgurl595 · Post by **WVgurl595** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 11:46 pm

hashpipe wrote:
hubcap wrote:How many stoners does it take to change a light bulb? - Two: One to hold the bulb against the socket, and the other to smoke up until the room starts spinning.

--------------

And the funniest bad one i'v heard: Whys weed the most dangerous drug? Because you always trip on it

ahaha that one had me on the floor

that's hilariuos now only if i could spell....i'm stoned

SpRi7e · Post by **SpRi7e** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 3:45 am

I read that before about 6 months ago. When I first read it my ribs were hurting from laughing so hard. I was incredibly stoned though.

www.weedguru.com

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