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El_Bristow · Post by **El_Bristow** » Thu May 13, 2004 4:58 pm

yes tom, i completely agree. a change in lifestyle is much needed, i am trying to at the moment, but everything seems to be working against me. i do frequently take walks in the country to do just that. unfortunatley i cant afford weed at the mo, but my job prospects are looking up.

daddy, i can tell youve never had depression and havnt a clue what you are on about. its a way of thinking which has been learned over many years, if i could just stop and be happy, dont you think i would? everyones goal in life is to be happy. and i am doing something, your constant ingorant posts do not help at all so i would apricate it if you didnt bother posting again.

besides, if i was to leave my sound system to anyone if would be someone i cared about, not someone who obviously doesnt give 2 shades of shit about me.

Caro · Post by **Caro** » Thu May 13, 2004 7:47 pm

Daddy, once again you're being an insensitive ****. Can you think about anything besides yourself???

Cheer up dude, and don't stop visiting these boards. I care, and so do other decent human beings.

Propaganda · Post by **Propaganda** » Thu May 13, 2004 10:06 pm

Sometimes people are whiny complaining bitches, and they just put on a show.. but other times people are serious and they are going through tough shit..

Since it's the internet, I'd rather not tell someone who is serious to "grow up" or have sex, thinking that they are just whiny complaining bitches..

I've had some of my best friends die. A girl really close to me was a cutter, and she died from it... when I was 7 my best friend died from a brain tumor...

I just don't like to see people bring harm upon themselves, and suicide isn't the answer.. If you need to talk to someone, I'm rarely on instant messengers but you can PM me if you like..

El_Bristow · Post by **El_Bristow** » Fri May 14, 2004 10:43 am

thx Caro, ZxIverson.

i wont stop posting here, deese are ma favourite cannabis boards. i may well message u later Iverson, although i myself am rarely on msn, lags me too much when im trying to surf/play games etc.

i have come a long way since i was first diagnosed with depression at 14 years old. only just started getting help for it due to my parents not wanting me to take drugs for it (my opinion not important) and insisting it will go away by itself, but it never did. there have been many things ive realised which have helped, the dr seems to think one of the main things wrong with me now is that ive learned the "wrong" way to react to everything over the 11 years ive had depression and my way of thinking needs re-programming. still find myself becomming completely hopeless all the time, i reccon as soon as i get a job alot of my main troubles will go away.

thx again, dont think i will post anymore depressing shit here, this just isnt the place for it.

=- EL

Caro · Post by **Caro** » Fri May 14, 2004 8:31 pm

thx again, dont think i will post anymore depressing shit here, this just isnt the place for it.

Sure it is.... I know when I'm feeling really down, I can post something here that could get replied to with a different perspective that I or the people in my life might think of. That's the whole point of having a stoner community.

I know what you mean about the job. So many of life's problems can be solved by money. I feel like I'm already working at school full time, so I've just been sinking into debt. Which leads to anxiety and depression. I lost a really good job too, just because I forgot to tell them I moved so they gave it to someone else. It was a city job that you get paid to do whatever you want and write a number down every two hours.

But I'm exploiting my resources and instead of slaving away at some crappy wage job, I'm going into business for myself. Undergraduate school will be over for me in a matter of weeks. I'm halfway to earning my law degree!

Anyway.... I'm baked. I guess I could keep rambling on about my life, but I do that pretty often. I guess I'm just saying it's okay, everybody does it.

It's Friday, hey hey... that's something to be happy about. I vote we re-name Friday "Procrastination Day". Friday nights rule but I never do any work during the day, causing study anxiety on Sunday and Monday.

...

El_Bristow · Post by **El_Bristow** » Fri May 14, 2004 11:21 pm

i guess so, we all need some vent for negative energy, else we would just bottle up shit till we eventually ended up biting everyones head off

good luck with ya law degree and starting ya own business, that takes alot of will power and effort. i can respect u for that.

ahhh yes good ol fridays, many a friday of mine has been spent with friends arround the evil bucket, bottles o jack daniels just fading away, not a care in the world cause were all too fucked. then getting up the next day and doing it allllll over again lol

shame i cant do that at the moment

the mac · Post by **the mac** » Sat May 15, 2004 1:25 am

El_Bristow wrote: else we would just bottle up shit till we eventually ended up biting everyones head off

Dont hate on it, lol it works just fine for me thank you.

it seems like your doin a lil better from your previous posts, and thats good. ive never been depressed.. i dont let shit like that happen, but its not cool to see someone you know (on wg or real life for that matter) depressed and in need of help that they cant seem to find. i hope you eventually talk to a dr. or get the job your lookin for and things get better for you. "The World Is Yours" so make it a good one.

Daddy · Post by **Daddy** » Sat May 15, 2004 8:24 am

Caro , I love it when you talk dirty to me x x x

And El bristo I apoligise if i offended you lets just say i was trying to give you a kick up the back side and to make you laugh i dont want to see any dude get depressed or have doubts about them self , So if it came out offensive rather then trying to make you laugh i offer you my hand in Apoligy -

And did you really think i would want your Hi - Fi ,

El_Bristow · Post by **El_Bristow** » Sat May 15, 2004 9:52 am

heh, thx mac dre, and i think i did already mention im seeing a Dr? maybe not...

and thx for appologising daddy, for a moment there i didnt think very much of u. all is forgiven. the funny thing is you probably would want my sound system, it kicks ass! even my best friend said if i die before him, can i leave it to him in my will

as for sounding better in these previous two posts, i seem to have been in the recovery stage of my depression for about 4 months now, i keep falling back in and out of normal and manic depressant states of mind, i just cant seem to find the balance i need at the moment

either way im better than i was because before i was constantly in that state of mind with no escape. now ive learned too much about mentality to stay in it for more than a week or so. ive been thinking about going back to college once i have rid myself of it to do a course in psycology.

peace out all, and thx for giving a f**k

Daddy · Post by **Daddy** » Sat May 15, 2004 11:37 am

Dude i just relised you live in cambridge , now f***********g wonder your depressed ,

If you get to manchester , Ill make you forget about everything...

El_Bristow · Post by **El_Bristow** » Sat May 15, 2004 12:37 pm

funky, i might take you up on that one when im back in the money. buy meself a nice block of morrocan hash and make ma way up there with a few m8's or summin. cud be gud for a laugh, always up for meetin new stoners

shouldnt think it will be for a while mind, need ta get back into the swing of caning packed bongs and drinking stupid ammouts of jd

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