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22nd April, 2009, Zulu Berserker set to become King

It comes as little surprise to learn of Condi 'UberBitch' Rice's involvement in the authorization of torture methods now outlawed, but which were adopted by the CIA and other mercenaries during the Bush regime. These methods include waterboarding, sleep deprivation (recorded examples of a detainee subjected to a constant 180 hours, shackled head to toe, and chained into a standing position). Dr. Rice will of course, as is customary for political war criminals in the West, be exempt from prosecution, much like those who carried out the torture. This is supposedly Obama's decision. Cut the torture out, but leave the torturers alone...If these people were breaking international laws, the geneva convention springs to mind, then surely they must be prosecuted. Else what message does it send to the world as an american ripple of In House Law and Order? I find it hard to believe, completely, that Obama doesn't privately want to burn these fuckers at the stake...Because in spite of my reservations about his intentions in the Middle East, and also the Sudanese Problem, I sense goodness in the man. Perhaps I am being nieve. Romantic even...

South Africa is bracing itself for a period of extreme horror as election polls show the ANC racing to victory. Their leader, Jacob Zuma is a dangerous, ignorant man, who will undo all the good work done by his predeccessors right back to Nelson Mandela himself. He is the very last south african I know, who I would wish to become their supreme leader. Because he is a thief and a rapist, with the mental capacity of a bean. In a country with a spiralling rate of HIV infection, the last thing they need is a man leading them who once raped his mate's daughter, had unprotected sex with her, then when asked by the jury, at his trial for rape, "did you take precautions against STDs, mr Zuma?"...he replied "I took a shower". To roars of applause from the fiercely ZULU court audience. His explanation of the alleged offence was disturbing...

"In Zulu culture you cannot leave a woman if she is ready. To deny her sex, that would have been tantamount to rape."

Zuma had decided that she was 'ready' when she arrived at the scene wearing a short skirt.

Other reasons to be concerned by the mere existence of Zuma:

He hates gays, and lesbians. And is strongly opposed to same-sex marraiges, referring to such couples as "a disgrace to the nation"

At rallies, he often bursts into song and sings the apartheid-era anthem "Umshini wami" (Bring Me My Machine-Gun).

He plans to reintroduce the death penalty and remove the avenue to legal aid for all accused of serious crimes.

He is an enemy of Archbishop Desmond Tu-tu...I am no christian, but this guy is one of few religious fanatics who has always seemed truly Decent. He has style. An enemy of Tutu is likely an enemy of mine. And yours..

I did want to leave the global gloom update on a more pleasant note, but whilst painstakingly creating the photo-spread for this newsletter, I stumbled across an article which showed how the Brazillian prison system deals with Child Molestors...The photo below shows what happened to a man sent to the Tombs for raping a 4-month old baby, once word of his crime spread amongst the ranks.

Thread of the Week:

Bongs - the coolest bongs ever

Aural Delights-

Its a shame- Kool G Rap

Heat- I Self Divine

Take em to war- MF Grimm

Reccomended Book:

The Brother Karamazov (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)

Undoubtedly one of the finest books written by human hands.

"You're a Karamazov, too! In your family sensuality is carried to the point of fever. So these three sensualists are now eyeing each other with knives in their boots. The three of them are at loggerheads, and maybe you're the fourth."