Things you really shouldnt do

Things not to do when you are caned

There are a number of things that you should never try to do when you are caned due to the overly relaxed state you find yourself in. Sometimes it’s better to get what you have to get done before you smoke as once you have started smoking, even mundane tasks may prove difficult or even dangerous.

So here is a list to use as a guideline, feel free to email me if you can suggest any additions to the list.

1. Try to make a meal with more than two ingredients.

Its best just to stick to the simplest of meals as green negates the ability to think about more than one thing at once.

2. Move around a lot.

No need for an explanation, you won’t feel like moving around too much, try going for a jog, you’ll soon collapse from exhaustion!!

3. Go to a garage night.

The sheer plethora of choice you are presented with at late night garages coupled with un-stoned people makes this a bad place to be, if urgent nip in get your skins and move away quietly.

4. Try and work out any kind of mathematical sums.

Maths is hard enough without been stoned, but you try anything greater than the addition of two whole numbers and you’re stumped every time, if you can do the sums you haven’t smoked enough, fucker!

5. Go to any place with lots of pissed people.

When you are stoned, drunken people appear unruly, obnoxious, annoying and a sometimes stupid. They are way up there and you are way down there, stay away from them. All about been on a different level.

6. Make any important decisions.

Does this need explaining after the last 5??Check out the effects section, and you know what I’m talking about, best to wait till the morning with those decisions eh??

7. Try to make any sense of the way people act.

As you’re mind is more finely tuned in some ways when you’re caned, its important not to read too much into the way people around you are acting, as you can guarantee you’d be thinking differently if you were straight, don’t get paranoid, just sit back and enjoy been caned.

8. Give everyone your opinion about everything.

This may feel like the correct course of action, but you will forget what you are talking about soon after you have started. If you do go down this road then speak slowly for fucks sake and try and remember where you started!

9. Attempt to operate a vehicle of any kind.

Serious point people, don’t get fucked and drive, you may think you’ll drive slower therefore more safely but in actual fact you will a danger to yourself and others, so just don’t bother at all. Walk.

10. Any type of exercise.

Again, any physical activity will be greatly inferior to when you are straight, try doing some star jumps for starters, that’ll fuck you right up, brining you back to the sofa with your head spinning, nice work fool!